Thanksgiving

As I’m writing this, it’s the night of Thanksgiving 2020. As one tends to at this time of year, I’ve been thinking a lot during the last few days about things that I’m grateful for. In fact, I find myself thinking more about those things this year than I have in most past years, for whatever reason. And so I’d like to share some of those with whomever is interested in reading (perhaps you). So let us begin.

I am grateful for my family. In particular, I am grateful for my immediate family. Don’t get me wrong; there are many members of my extended family whom I love and whose company I enjoy. But throughout my life, no one has been as close to me as my immediate family. I am grateful to have parents who love me and who love each other. I’m not sure I ever heard an argument between them. There were a few times, certainly, where feelings were hurt unintentionally and apologies had to be made, but I don’t think I ever heard them yell at each other. As far as raising my siblings and me goes, I was never under the illusion that they always knew what to do. In fact, with each child, they seemed to encounter new problems. But they did their best to work together to solve those problems, and they successfully created an environment where each of us felt loved and respected.

As for my siblings, I have been fortunate to have a younger sister and brother with whom I share a good deal of common ground. Our relationships have not been exactly smooth at all times, with the usual fights, teasing, outbursts, and unwelcome intrusions into each other’s lives, but we have managed, throughout the vicissitudes of our youths, to cultivate a close, respectful, and loving relationship. And at the end of the day, I know that I can depend on my siblings for support when I need it. And I think they know the same about each other and about me.

I am grateful for good food. Food has had a place of great importance in my life. The food of my youth was largely Italian and British, but I’ve also grown to appreciate other cuisines–Japanese, Thai, Indian, German, Peruvian… There are, in short, many foods that I enjoy. But there are a few foods that transcend beyond that to being foods that have a particular importance to me. Foods that I feel have enriched my life in something beyond the ordinary.

There are the foods that are the staples of my childhood, of course. Family recipes that are a part of me both physically and psychically. Spaghetti alla carbonara, Yorkshire pudding, Welsh leek soup, cream of mushroom soup, pasta with cream and parmesan, pork veal spaghetti (a recipe made originally with veal but with pork as a replacement), cheesecake, snow cream, lasagna, lemon thyme cookies, chocolate Bavarian cream cake, mom’s pasta surprise, and so on.

Then there are the foods that I discovered later that I found transformative. This is where we have gelato (particularly limone), sushi (particularly things with unagi), butter chicken (most especially from Chillies in Cardiff), bacon-wrapped dates filled with goat cheese (that I was introduced to at Settebello in Salt Lake), and miso soup.

There are also branded foods that I treasure particularly. Sioux City Sarsaparilla goes on this list, as do Jelly Bellies, Lindor Balls, Amano chocolates, lemon Jolly Ranchers (which might not be here were it not for their very scarcity), Rowntree’s blackcurrant pastilles, Chick-Fil-A chicken nuggets and lemonade, and Altoids.

In a different category are the simple fruits and vegetables that provide flavor with little preparation at all. Fresh tomatoes sliced up with just a bit of salt, ripe, sun-warmed peaches, golden raspberries, lychees, and strawberries.

And in my final food category, something whose absence may already have been noted by those who know me: pizza. So many pizzas have enriched my experience. There are the good, hearty pizzas from places like Joe’s Italian in Moreno Valley, Luigi’s Pizza in River Falls, Route 66 in Orting, Ah, Badda-Bing! in Shelton, and Nicolitalia, Two Jacks, and Fat Daddy’s in Provo. Then there are the deep dish pizzas, thick and heavy, of which my favorite comes from Pizzeria Uno (originally in Chicago but with branches elsewhere). And finally there’s the Neapolitan pizzas, thin, small, but packed with marvelous flavors from places like Settebello in Salt Lake, Brick’s in Hudson, and Punch in the Twin Cities.

I’m grateful for good books. I have read many books in my life, and were I to list all the ones that have left a mark on me, I would be going on for a long time. However, let what follows be a small glimpse into the books that have become a part of my soul.

The Lord of the Rings, J.R.R. Tolkien

The Book of the New Sun, Gene Wolfe

The Dying Earth, Jack Vance

The Corfu Trilogy, Gerald Durrell

The Sacred and the Profane, Mircea Eliade

The Three Investigators books

The works of R.A. Lafferty

Soldier of the Mist and Soldier of Arete, Gene Wolfe

A Wizard of Earthsea, Ursula K. LeGuin

Blue Moose, Daniel Pinkwater

“The Bicentennial Man,” Isaac Asimov

Dandelion Wine, Ray Bradbury

Women’s Work, Elizabeth Wayland Barber

Doorways in the Sand, Roger Zelazney

The People Stories, Zenna Henderson

Arabel’s Raven, Joan Aiken

A Time Traveler’s Guide to Medieval England, Ian Mortimer

I’m also grateful for good video games. Like books, there are some video games that have been particularly meaningful or interesting to me. I’ve been very slowly writing a series on this very blog that highlights many of these, but I’m just going to list a few here.

The Suikoden Series

Chrono Trigger

ICO

The Last Guardian

Flower

Katamari Damacy

Spyro the Dragon

Portal

Beyond Zork

Bust-A-Move 2 and 4

Night in the Woods

I’m grateful for fingernail clippers. They act, in my mind, as a perfect example of a simple, ubiquitous invention that has improved our lives in a minor yet tangible way. Wikipedia informs me that it was invented by David Gestetner. This is a man who should be remembered.

I am grateful for places of beauty. I have been privileged to see some great beauty in my life, and I hope to see more. I have spent time both in Britain and in the United States, and there are some places that stick in my mind: a pebbled beach in Wales that I have forgotten the name of, the Grove of the Patriarchs on Mount Rainier, Point Lobos, Joshua Tree National Forest, Ilkley Moor, Saint Michael’s Mount in Cornwall, Tintern Abbey, Mount Snowdon, Goblin Valley in Utah.

I am grateful for my faith. I am grateful for a faith that makes sense of the universe and that doesn’t shy away from tough questions. I am grateful for fellow members of my church who inspire me to be a better person. I am grateful for holy scripture that contains the words of life and healing for the troubled soul. And I am grateful for prayer, for a personal connection to a loving Father in Heaven who, despite his role as creator of the world, knows his children intimately and comforts them in times of need.

I am grateful for and to my friends. If you know me at all well, you probably have reason not to like me. I have probably hurt you at some point, possibly even intentionally. I have likely bored you with the same stories time after time, have irritated you with my aggressive conversational style, and have made you profoundly uncomfortable with something that I have said in a complete lack of social awareness. And yet, there are those among you who have, for some inexplicable reason, found something to value in my companionship and have remained my friends despite my many failings. And if you are one of those people, I thank you, not just for tolerating me generally, but for tolerating my ramblings at this time in particular.

You have my gratitude.

The Woman

Heads turned as she walked through the door—conversations stopped mid-sentence, glasses halted halfway in their journeys to mouths, the record in the jukebox scratched to a halt—all in the space of a moment, as the heart of every man and woman in the establishment simultaneously skipped a beat in awe.

Her dress was a flowing dream of blood and flame, her hair a storm of darkest midnight.

She glided with inhuman grace through the crowded room, knots of people parting for her in her maddening approach to the bar.

“A drink, milady?” Andrew O’Donnell cocked a smile at her and raised a glass. No lesser man could have managed as much, and even Andrew, with a confidence cultivated over decades, almost stumbled in his delivery.

She gazed at him appraisingly, her eyes of storm-wracked sea looking through his façade to the innermost depths of his soul before she chuckled, a rolling thunder that he could feel deep within his abdomen. She licked her lips, “A drink would be lovely.”

“Whisky?”

A pearly-white, shark-like grin showed itself through the crimson of her lips. “Sure. I love a good spirit.”

Andrew gestured to the bartender—unnecessarily, given the way he was rooted to the spot. “Two shots of your finest.”

The bartender sprang to life, startled from his reverie. With practiced, almost reflexive movements, glasses were filled and placed on the bar. Andrew raised his drink. “To beauty?”

The woman smiled again. “Very well. To beauty.”

Taking a swig from his glass, Andrew studied the creature across from him. She had curves in all the wrong places—impossible forms that would make a geometer blush. There was an undulating quality about her, even while she was seemingly still. Her legs were like something from an Escher fever dream, as negative space became leg and vice versa. Horns curled upon her head like a crown or writhing mass of serpents. Her skin was bone white. Or was it raven black? Her hair was deep sea green. But hadn’t it just been blood red? She was, in short, like no woman he had seen before.

But there was something about her that seemed strangely familiar. Perhaps it was simply the familiarity of a beautiful woman, the aching reminder of the incompleteness of man, an Adamic yearning for one’s lost rib or a Platonic yearning for one’s severed half. Andrew raised a hand. “Care to dance?” The woman took it, and as the pair found themselves on the dancefloor, the jukebox shuddered to life once again.

It was an eerie song, raw and powerful, with shrieking violins, piercing flutes, a sinuous bassoon, and a driving, relentless beat. It was a song that Andrew had never heard before, but which he knew by note, echoes of something, something—but it was gone. As Andrew danced with the woman—and oh how she danced, spinning, whirling, writhing, her hair a luxurious, flowing set of drapes parting to reveal the changing scene, then closing again at the end of the act, the woman sometimes meeting his eyes from across the dancefloor with frightening intensity, sometimes so close that he could almost breathe her in—as Andrew danced with this woman, striving with all the energy in his feeble mortal frame to match her grace, her poise, her passion, he felt something coming up from somewhere deep within him, heard a voice whispering almost-comprehensible words just beyond his hearing, so that when the woman moved from the dancefloor to the exit then paused, throwing a glance of her eight segmented eyes over her shoulder in a way that was as much challenge as invitation, Andrew found his feet, without any conscious input from his brain, carrying him across the establishment to follow her out into the night.

The street outside was quiet. A streetlight flickered overhead. The street itself, usually busy even at this time of night, was completely empty, though parked cars lined either side. And directly in front of the entrance to the bar was a carriage.

It was a thing of steel and shadow, and it dwarfed the cars around it. Strange faces leered at him out of the hubcaps, and the wheels were wreathed in Saint Elmo’s fire. Harnessed to the front of the carriage were a pair of skeletal beasts, colossal megafauna from some ancient prehistoric age, with great fires beating within their ribcages and smaller flames flickering in their eye sockets as they turned to look at Andrew in curiosity. The woman smiled at him, and with a gesture of her taloned hand, the door to the carriage swung gracefully open. The woman floated into the carriage and then, extending a tentacle, helped Andrew in.

Andrew sat across from the woman, a part of him still in awe. What was he doing here? How was it that he was sitting in a skeleton-drawn carriage with a being of such breathtaking, awe-inspiring beauty? As he tried to piece together the events that brought him to this point, he saw a smile twitch at the lady’s lips.

“So, Andrew, do you know who I am?”

Andrew shook his head. Had he told her his name? “I don’t believe I do, my lady.”

The woman chuckled. “You will.” She turned her head to a window, gestured to it. Andrew looked out to see the city whipping past, cars motionless in their lanes warping to allow the carriage through. The city fell from sight, to be replaced with a landscape Andrew had never seen during his waking life. To the left, black earth, run through with cracks of glowing red stretched away to steel-blue mountains rising against a sky full of strange stars. To the right, cliffs, and then a vast green ocean swelling and crashing under a storm-wracked sky. The carriage turned to the right going up a winding road with dark, forbidding trees arching overhead before pulling to a stop in front of a large house. The doors opened and Andrew got out, helping the lady to the ground. She smiled as she put her hand in his.

“Come,” she said. And Andrew followed her.

They did not go into the house, but instead went down a path to a cliff overlooking the ocean. The woman gestured, and Andrew looked out across a silent sea to the moon, hanging blood-red in the sky. The air was still, and a smell of a sort of sulfurous petrichor hung in the air. There was a crack of thunder, and suddenly, Andrew knew where he was. He turned to the woman standing beside him. “Madi?” he asked.

The woman smiled widely, fangs visible in the moonlight, as Andrew drew his arms around her. He looked into her feline eyes, then brought her to him, planting a kiss on her pedipalps. “I knew you would remember,” she said.

And he did remember. Long nights as a child filled with what he first took to be nightmares. Otherworldly planes of existence. And a strange, ever-changing young girl whose name was Madixcthertakni, though in his youth, he could only call her Madi. He remembered her comforting him in his sleep after his traumatic move at the age of ten. And he remembered the last night, when she had told him that she couldn’t see him anymore, that her father, the king of the depths, would not allow it. But he also remembered her promise that she would find him one day. And she had, all these years later.

The pair walked back to the house. Madi gestured to the front door. “Stay a while?”

Andrew smiled. He would stay. And as he said so, looking deep into impossible eyes that held within them both the dark of the night and the spark of the fires of dawn, he felt himself falling into madness.

A madness indistinguishable from love.

Webcomic Recommendations: The Scary Go Round Universe

Hey all! It’s been a while. I’m back though, and this time with a new webcomic recommendation! (And no, it’s not my comic.)

The recommendation in question is actually for a series of several webcomics–Bobbins, Scary Go Round, Bad Machinery, and some other random stuff–all of which are part of the same universe and share characters.

Scary Go Round

Author: John Allison

URL: http://www.scarygoround.com/

Status: We’re in a brief hiatus, but Bobbins, Scary Go Round, Bad Machinery, and some random other stuff is complete.

Type: Humor/Mundane Fantasy

Art: Gets much better over time

The Scary Go Round comics revolve around the fictional Yorkshire town of Tackleford. Bobbins starts us off in 1998 at the offices of City Limit, a local magazine. It is here that we get introduced to many of the central characters to the Scary Go Round universe, including Tim Jones, genius inventor, Amy Chilton, struggling artist, and Shelley Winters, scatterbrained innocent.

Bobbins starts out as a fairly ordinary office comedy, but it diverges midway through, introducing genetically engineered super spies, robot ambassadors, and attempts to woo Drew Barrymore. The art also improves dramatically over the course of the comic. It starts out…rough. And it winds up…considerably less rough. That said, the universe really hits its stride with Scary Go Round.

Scary Go Round starts shortly after Bobbins ends. With City Limits having closed its doors, we no longer have any pretense of an office comedy (which, admittedly, had been largely abandoned part of the way into Bobbins). What we do have is considerably more of the delightful weirdness that characterizes the Scary Go Round universe. People die and come back to life, inventor’s fairs are had, people move to Wales, leprechauns beat up the Devil, and we get introduced to the truly disgusting Desmond Fishman who is ugly not only on the outside but also on the inside. We also get to see more of Ryan Beckwith, who was introduced in Bobbins but who becomes a much more central character in Scary Go Round. I mention him only because he is probably my favorite character. He also has a pet bat. And then another one after the first one dies of neglect (but not his neglect).

From left to right: Ryan, Amy, and Shelley

Following the adventures of Scary Go Round is Bad Machinery. By the time of Bad Machinery, the characters of Scary Go Round have largely passed from their irresponsible twenties to the stage of life known as “responsible adulthood.” As such, we largely ignore them in favor of teen detectives.

Two of the aforementioned teen detectives: Charlotte Grotte and Shauna Wickle. And is that Ryan Beckwith? Yes. He is now a teacher of young people.

This group of detectives consists of three boys and three girls who navigate the issues of puberty and growing up. Fortunately, they also navigate issues involving ghosts, giants, and fatbergs, so it isn’t too painful. Bad Machinery is divided into different cases, each of which is supernatural in nature, and each of which is delightful.

So what is it that’s so special about the Scary Go Round series? I think it boils down to two things: the characters and the world they inhabit. Said world is similar to our own in many ways, but it’s filled with wonder and whimsy and magic and deep strangeness. The characters are much the same–real people but with all of the oddest characteristics exaggerated. Ultimately, what draws me to Scary Go Round is the delight of seeing what strange thing will happen next.

Which leaves us with just one final question: where should you start? When I first started reading, I had difficulty getting into Scary Go Round, and I didn’t even know Bobbins existed. So I started with Bad Machinery, then went back and read Scary Go Round and reread Bad Machinery, then learned Bobbins existed and started from the beginning. I think Scary Go Round is currently my favorite, but it takes a little while to get to the really good bits. Bad Machinery is great and largely self-sufficient, though you will at times wonder if you’re supposed to know who some of the characters are. That problem is probably more pronounced with Scary Go Round, though you get up to speed fairly quickly. Which makes it seem like starting with Bobbins is the best option. However, Bobbins is very rough, and it doesn’t get to that Scary Go Round goodness for some time. Overall, it may actually be best to read it the way that I did, with Bad Machinery first and everything else later. There are also a few side things that I didn’t discuss here but which are explained pretty thoroughly here. Finally, there’s also a set of print comics set in this same universe called Giant Days. I haven’t read them, so I can’t say much about them, but I’m sure they’re good too.

Go forth and read!

LDS Cosmology

If you follow my blog, you probably know that I belong to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (commonly known as Mormons). Likewise, you probably know that I have an interest in comparative religion. As such, I thought it might be of interest to some of you if I were to give a brief introduction to Mormon cosmology.

Now, what do I mean by “cosmology”? Cosmology generally refers to the nature and origins of the universe. As such, I will attempt to talk about the nature of God and man, the nature of good and evil, and a Mormon answer to the question of what the purpose of life is. I will not be talking in any but the most general terms about The Book of Mormon, Joseph Smith, or church organization. Similarly, I won’t be addressing truth claims. The point of this post is not to prove the truth of LDS doctrines, simply to present some of them within a framework.

Let me also say that Mormonism is an active, living religion. As such, different members of the church have different interpretations of its doctrine. As such, almost any point I make could be disputed by someone. Furthermore, I am an active participant in this religion. As such, my understanding of Mormon doctrine has changed over time, and I expect it to continue to do so. So rather than presenting “LDS Cosmology,” perhaps it might be better said that I am presenting “LDS Cosmology as Interpreted by Me at This Time.”

Finally, let me just note that within this post, I use the terms LDS and Mormon fairly interchangeably. There are stylistic reasons for doing this, but I won’t go into them. Let it suffice to say that the proper name of the church is The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints but that the proper name is super long and doesn’t have a good adjectival form, so I have been forced to make stylistic choices.

Anyway on to the fun stuff.

 

A Brief Sketch of the Nature of God

The LDS church believes in the existence of three beings who make up what we call the “Godhead” but which are often referred to in other Christian faiths as the Trinity: God the Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost. Unlike many Christian churches, we believe that the three are distinct individuals, although united in purpose. I will talk about each of these individuals in turn.

The most fundamental doctrine of the LDS church regarding God is that He is our Father. This is not an unusual title for a religion to use when referring to God, but Mormons use the title more literally than most. We believe that God is fundamentally the same sort of being that we are and that He has undergone a process of mortality similar to that which we are going through. We believe that God is married to a Heavenly Mother and that while They may not be our physical parents, they are the parents of our spirits. We believe that God loves us and will give us personal guidance in our lives if we seek it.

Because we see God as a being similar to ourselves, there are some doctrines other faiths hold that we do not. Our fundamental view of God is not as someone who creates ex nihilo–out of nothing–but rather as someone who uses preexisting materials to create His works, as a potter makes a bowl out of already-existing clay. Likewise, we do not view God as the origin of truth and goodness, but as someone who has come to embody all good principles by strict adherence to them. And we believe that God’s power is due to His adherence to these virtues.

Likewise, because we view God as our Father with attributes similar to ours, who came to His position through observing moral laws, we believe that we too may attain these heights and that this is, indeed, the very purpose of our lives. As Lorenzo Snow (president of the church in the late 19th century) said, “As man now is, God once was: As God now is, man may be.”

Let us move on to the person of Jesus. We believe that Jesus is, like all of us, a child of God in spirit, though we also hold that He is a literal child of God in a physical sense as well. We believe that He acts and has acted under close supervision from our Father in Heaven as a sort of executive officer for the Earth, even before His birth. We believe He fulfilled a divine role in His mortal life as Savior and Redeemer (to be discussed at a later point) and that He knew what He was getting into before being born and chose His role consciously.

And finally, let us talk a little about the Holy Ghost. This being is somewhat enigmatic, but we believe that He acts as sort of an incorporeal messenger from God. In this role, He does many things–bringing divine comfort, testifying of truth, prompting us to make good decisions, etc. Since the primary focus of this article is cosmology rather than LDS beliefs on the nature of personal revelation, I won’t go into more detail on this whole thing, but I feel that any description of the Godhead ought to at least mention the Holy Ghost. One last note of some interest is that Mormons believe that the Holy Ghost is–like us and Jesus–a spirit child of God. We believe that he has yet to come to Earth and gain a body. As for who He is, we really don’t have any details. He’s talked about scripturally in a less personal, more utilitarian manner, so there’s a lot we don’t know.

And now on to us.

Pre-Mortal Life

LDS theology holds that in some form we have always existed, but that at some point, our Heavenly Parents formed us into spirits (recall that God does not create ex nihilo but rather from preexisting materials). What exactly this means is unclear, as is the process by which this happened, though I think a reasonable assumption is that the process is at least in some way analogous to our earthly conception and birth.

At some point in our pre-mortal existence, God proposed a plan to us whereby we could do as He had once done and be born into bodies of flesh and blood, grow and experience mortal life and all the joys and trials relevant thereto, and ultimately die, becoming, through this process, more similar to our Heavenly Parents, and achieving more of our potential. All people who have lived on this earth accepted this plan, though there were some of God’s children who did not, among them Satan.

(Let me make a parenthetical note here about Satan: the LDS church does believe in the existence of Satan, but the more I learn, the less confident I am as to just what Satan’s deal is. That said, his general role is what you might expect: rebelling against God, tempting people, etc. Anyway, I think most of LDS cosmology can be told without reference to Satan at all, so this may be the last time we hear about him in this post.)

Once we had accepted the plan, God created the world so that the plan could go into motion. Now I need to make two addenda to that statement. First, LDS doctrine is that God has created many worlds for His children and that ours is just one of them. Second, one of the more beautiful Mormon teachings (in my view at least) is that when God was creating the world, we were active participants in that process, with Jesus (who had already volunteered for his eventual role as Savior and Redeemer of the world) acting as sort of a foreman.

The Garden of Eden

The Garden of Eden is one of the central myths in Christianity. In its basic form, the story goes something like this: When God created the world, He made a paradisaical garden without death or injury and placed Adam, the first man, and Eve, the first woman, within this garden, with the instructions that they were allowed to eat from any tree in the garden beside the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. Eve is tempted by the “serpent” (traditionally accepted as Satan) into eating the fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, with the promise that if she does, she “shall be as the gods, knowing good and evil” (Genesis 3:5). Eve partakes of the fruit and goes to Adam to share it. Adam is torn between following the instruction to avoid the fruit and the instruction to cleave unto his wife, knowing that for the violation of the fruit taboo she will be banned from the garden. He chooses to stay with his wife and eats the fruit. Surprisingly, the serpent’s words turn out to be accurate, and Adam and Eve’s eyes are indeed opened to the knowledge of good and evil. They also become subject to eventual death. God, seeing that they have eaten of the fruit, makes them leave the garden.

While Mormons generally agree with the mainstream Christian view of what the events were, we differ in some major respects in our interpretation of what the events mean.

Most importantly, Mormons see the “fall of Adam” as a positive thing all around. If the purpose of life is to undergo all of the spectrum of mortality so we can learn to value the good over the evil (as we firmly believe to be the case)–eventually leading us to become beings who, like God, do not merely choose good out of ignorance or because we are told to but because we truly value goodness–then we must see the acquisition of firsthand knowledge of good and evil as a positive. In the garden, Adam and Eve were in a childlike state of innocence, but like all of us had to move past being children to a state of knowledge, where they could make informed right choices. As such, Mormon rhetoric regarding Eve tends to be highly respectful, with the acknowledgement that even without knowing good from evil, she had the insight to know that she should know.

That said, the fall of Adam carried with it many difficult consequences. Adam and Eve were thrust out into a hard, dangerous, strenuous world–one with death and pain and stress. But it was also only through entry into this world that they were able to bring forth humanity.

Now let me head off the inevitable concerns about Biblical literalism and the entirety of the human race being descended from two people. Mormon doctrine is neutral regarding evolution, with the view that God created the world and humanity, and it’s not our job as a religion to say how He did it. As regards the Adam and Eve story, opinions vary among members of the church as to just how literally we’re meant to take it. However, as I hope you’ve been able to see, Mormons value the story of the Garden of Eden largely because of the spiritual truths that it teaches us, including the necessity of individual growth by making choices and experiencing their consequences, both positive and negative. We are instructed to try to see what lessons we can learn from the story and to see ourselves in Adam and Eve.

The Atonement of Jesus Christ

As you may recall from the beginning of this post, the full name of the church we’re dealing with is The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. As such, it should not surprise anyone that Jesus would be a central figure in this article.

The story of Jesus is central to the LDS church. We regard Him as the son of God in a physical sense as well as a spiritual one. We also believe Him to be the only perfect person ever to have walked the earth. We regard Jesus as an example to follow throughout our life, and as such, we treasure the glimpses of His life and teachings that we get in the scriptures. But for us, His crowning glory and the act which earns Him our deepest reverence is His performance of what we call the Atonement.

The word “atonement” comes from the idea of setting two things “at one”–in this case God and man (and yes, that is the etymology, tacky though it may seem). The idea is: because of the fall of Adam, man became separated from God by death and sin–not that we inherit the sin of Adam and are born guilty (as many Christian sects assert) but that due to our own free will and the knowledge we have received of good and evil, we will each, inevitably, fall short of perfection. However, God is perfect, and if we are to return to live with Him, we must be as well. So sin, death, and any other flaws must be eventually overcome if we are to return to live in God’s presence. Hence the need for some sort of atonement. This is where Jesus comes in.

Mormon doctrine teaches that before the creation of the world, God knew that we would be imperfect and need to be able to overcome that and that, as a result, an atonement must be made. This was a crucial part of the plan that God presented to us before our birth. Fortunately for each of us, when God presented His plan, explaining that someone would need to make a tremendous sacrifice to metaphorically balance the cosmic scales, Jesus volunteered for the role, although He knew that it would require great pain and suffering on his part.

So when the time was right, Jesus was born to a mortal mother and divine father. He grew up, “[increasing] in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man.” (Luke 2:52) In order to be worthy to perform such a sacrifice for mankind, Jesus kept Himself sinless. At the age of 30, He started His ministry. For the next three years, He traveled around preaching and performing miracles. Which brings us to the last week of His life.

Though most of Jesus’ life had been spent in Galilee, He spent the last week of His life in Jerusalem, where He had traveled for the celebration of the Passover. I could spend a considerable amount of time telling the story of the last week of Jesus’ life. Instead, I will try to restrain myself and only give a brief overview. He arrived on Sunday and spent the next few days in the city. On either Wednesday or Thursday (there’s some debate as to which), He held what has come to be known as the Last Supper. There, He famously washed the feet of His disciples, prophesied that He would be betrayed, and held a ceremonial meal where bread and wine symbolizing Jesus’ flesh and blood were consumed. Afterwards, Jesus retired to a place called Gethsemane to pray. Upon finishing His prayer, Jesus was found by an armed mob that had been led to Him by Judas Iscariot, a disciple of Jesus who had been with Him at the Last Supper just earlier that evening. The mob (made up of various members of the Jewish establishment who felt threatened by Jesus) seized Jesus and brought Him before Pontius Pilate, the local Roman ruler, because the Sanhedrin–the Jewish ruling body–lacked the authority to sentence someone to death. Pilate, largely for political reasons, acquiesced and ordered Jesus executed. He was crucified on Friday. Because the next day was the Sabbath and there were various prohibitions related to it, Jesus’ body was taken down from the cross that day and placed in a tomb. On Sunday, some women went to the tomb only to find it empty. It was then revealed (either by an angel or by Jesus himself depending on the account) that Jesus had risen from the dead. He proceeded to reveal Himself to various sets of disciples before eventually ascending to heaven.

Like most Christians, we attribute great significance to Jesus’ death and resurrection. We believe that through Jesus’ resurrection, He conquered physical death so that at some point each of us may also be resurrected. However, we also place significance on Jesus prayer in Gethsemane and believe that through that prayer, Jesus took upon Himself the sins and pains of the world so that if we turn to Him, He can carry our burdens and allow us to be forgiven of our sins and changed spiritually to become greater than we could be otherwise. These two acts and their resulting effects constitute the Atonement.

Mortal Life

Fundamentally, Mormons believe that life is about choice. We constantly make choices, and with each choice we make, we determine what sort of person we are. Sometimes our choices are difficult ones, and if this life is about becoming more like God, the task can seem daunting. However, God has given us tools to help us along that path.

The first tool I’d like to talk about are commandments. These are explicit instructions for us on how to live in a moral and godly manner. They include things like not killing people, loving our neighbors, and being honest. These are communicated to us through prophets, people who have been chosen by God as His spokespeople on the earth. Mormons believe the scriptures (usually defined as the four books, The BibleThe Book of MormonThe Doctrine and Covenants, and The Pearl of Great Price) to contain the words of such prophets, but we also believe that the church is led by prophets in our modern day.

We’ve also been given personal revelation. It is a fundamental belief of the LDS church that any one of us is entitled to receive revelation from God as to how to live our lives. Rarely does that take the form of an angel coming down to us or a voice speaking from heaven. More often it comes as a quiet impression in our soul, usually as the result of prayer and contemplation. Whatever the form, Mormons assert that God will answer sincere prayer.

There are also things that we call “ordinances”–sacred rituals that we engage in. Typically these ordinances have covenants attached to them, wherein we promise to do various things–typically promising to live according to certain standards–and God promises things in return, typically additional spiritual strength and guidance. I could spend a paragraph on each of these ordinances, but that might be a little outside the scope of this post. Instead, let me just give a brief overview of several of these ordinances. The main ordinances that are talked about are baptism and confirmation (which serve as an entry to the church and result in more constant spiritual guidance by the Holy Ghost), the reception of the priesthood (the authority to act in God’s name in the performance of ordinances), the reception of the endowment (more complicated than I can really get into here, but basically receiving more spiritual power), and celestial marriage. Both the endowment ceremony and the marriage ceremony can only be performed in places called temples, which are buildings specifically sanctified for the performance of these ordinances.

The one ordinance I will talk about in greater detail here is that of celestial or temple marriage. LDS theology holds that families are central to the nature of eternity. The purpose of temple marriage is to “seal” a couple together so that it becomes an eternal unit. Similarly, in the temple, we also seal parents to children to create eternal families.

Lastly, there is the Atonement of Jesus Christ. None of us can live up to all the things we should be doing, but Mormons believe that by turning to Jesus and allowing Him to carry our burdens we can change who we are, give up the parts of ourselves that we want to be rid of, and eventually, gradually leave all of our flaws behind. When one drops a plate and it shatters into pieces, one can sometimes glue the plate back together, but the plate will never return to being whole: the plate will forever bear the marks of its fall. Likewise, when we make mistakes in this life, it leaves scars on us, sometimes outwardly visible, sometimes not. However, unlike the plate, we can be completely healed and our scars erased, but only through the atonement of Jesus Christ.

Let me close the section on mortal life by saying that while talk about commandments and covenants can sound very restrictive, life isn’t meant to be miserable. There is a verse in the Book of Mormon that says “Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy.” (2 Nephi 2:25) God is our father and wants us to be happy, and the commandments that He gives us are directions on the way of life that He has found to result in the most lasting happiness.

That said, some degree of pain and sorrow is inevitable in our lives. We all face difficult times, often through no fault of our own. However, it is in our hardest times that we have the greatest capacity for growth. Adam and Eve’s choice in the garden was that of a world of great trial but great reward above that of easy complacency. Similarly, before our births, each of us agreed to come down to earth to experience mortality knowing that at times it would be overwhelming yet longing for the chance to become more like our Heavenly Parents. And ultimately, even in our deepest tribulations, we can feel peace through the tools our Father has given us.

The Spirit World

Each religion must somehow deal with the question of what happens to those who aren’t members of that religion. The spirit world is the LDS answer to that question.

When we die, our spirits separate from our bodies. Our  spirits proceed to a place (or perhaps a state) called the spirit world, where we await our eventual resurrection. During this time, those who accepted the fullness of the gospel of Christ will teach those who did not. Eventually, through this process, every person who has ever lived on the earth will have the opportunity to learn about and take advantage of Christ and His Atonement as well as learning about other important doctrines.

Meanwhile on earth, Mormons are doing genealogy. The purpose of this is to discover people in the past who never engaged in the various saving ordinances (each of which is necessary to engage in to unlock our full potential and become like God). Then, when these people have been found, members of the LDS church go to the temple and perform ordinances on their behalf. After these proxy ordinances have been performed for a person, that person may make the choice at any time to accept the ordinances that were done on their behalf and enter into the covenants pertaining thereto.

The Second Coming of Jesus Christ

Like most Christian faiths, the LDS church believes that at some point, Jesus will return to Earth again to usher in a period of peace and righteousness. During this time, there will be no wars or sickness, people will live a long time, and there will be constant open communication between Earth and Heaven. This communication will allow for many errors to be corrected. Those who could not be found through genealogy will be known so that eventually, every person who ever lived on the Earth will have the saving ordinances done on their behalf. Essentially, the Second Coming will provide a period to tie up loose ends prior to the eventual end of the world in its current state as well as providing a happy ending to look forward to.

Resurrection and Judgment

Mormon doctrine holds that at some point, each of us will be resurrected. Our resurrected bodies will be perfected versions of the ones we have now, devoid of the various physical flaws we have here. Then, once we have been resurrected, we will be judged.

The purpose of this judgment will be to determine where we go from here. This is a more complicated proposition than the typical Heaven and Hell scenario of most Christian traditions. Typically as Mormons, we divide our afterlife options into three “kingdoms of glory” and “outer darkness,” but since most of the kingdoms of glory have various different degrees within them, we can say simply that there are a lot of different places to which we can go. With the exception of the highest degree of the Celestial Kingdom (the subject of the next section), these places aren’t particularly elaborated upon. That said, we do know that each of the kingdoms of glory is a significantly better place than Earth.

What determines which of these various places we go to is us. When we are judged, God will look upon us, knowing our actions, our thoughts, and our desires. He will see the choices we made in mortality and know perfectly the people that we have become. Using that knowledge, God will assign us to the place where we will be happiest. If we are people who have followed God’s commandments, received the required ordinances, and learned to truly love the way of life that all of that entails, God will send us to the Celestial Kingdom, where we can learn to become more like Him. If we reject God and goodness completely, we will go to Outer Darkness. If we fall somewhere in-between, we will go either to the Terrestrial or Telestial Kingdom depending on the degree to which we embraced a Godly lifestyle. And within those kingdoms there are many different degrees, allowing us to reside in a place that will be comfortable to us.

The Celestial Kingdom

Throughout this article, we’ve viewed life as a progression. From pre-mortal spirit beings to mortal beings, to resurrected beings, learning and growing in each stage. The Celestial Kingdom is a continuation of that progression, providing a stage for learning how to become like our Heavenly Parents.

In the Celestial Kingdom, there will be many opportunities to learn. We will have the knowledge of the universe opened up to us with God as our teacher. As we work in our heavenly studies, we will become ever closer to the ultimate goal of our enterprise: to bear spirit children and create worlds for them to live on.

The bearing and rearing of children is, of course, not a solitary pursuit. As such, the fundamental unit of the eternities is not the individual but the couple and the family that extends outwards from that couple. And since we in LDS temples engage in sealing parents to children, what we wind up with is one family of mankind, bound together in love.

 

Which  brings us to the end. I have, of course, had to abridge the subject greatly in order to address it in anything like a concise manner. That said, I think this ought to give one a decent idea of the sections of Mormon belief that I have chosen to call cosmology. I hope that this has been interesting and that you have come out of it with some sense of the internal logic and what it is about this cosmology that Mormons find appealing.

If you have any questions, I’d be happy to answer them in the comments, though I reserve my right to delete any comments that are inflammatory. When one deals with an active religion, one must do so from a position of respect, and I expect that of all of my readers.

Thank you.

2018 Goals

It is the new year, a time of goals and resolutions. Now, as most of you know, I have many lists–lists of games to play, things to watch, books to read, etc.–and I often find myself frustrated by how slowly I move through those lists. Furthermore, I also know that many of my friends and relations are frustrated by me constantly saying things like “It’s on my list.” As such, this year, I’m going to post a bunch of goals that I hope to get done in the coming year as well as stretch goals should I complete my current goals. I am also going to post a survey on my Patreon account, where my patrons can vote for what goals they want me to direct my efforts towards as well as suggesting other goals. So if you want some sort of input on this matter, go check it out.

Otherwise, here are my goals for the coming year:

  • Finish playing the Batman: Arkham series
    • Stretch goal: Finish playing all the games I own that begin with the letter B
  • Finish my thematic summary of the Book of Mormon
  • Finish reading The Book of Yokai and make the appropriate adjustments to my bestiary
    • Stretch goal: Add stuff to my bestiary from another book (probably Pandemonium and Parade)
  • Finish reading the Faded Sun trilogy
    • Stretch goal: Read something else (perhaps the Helliconia trilogy?)
  • Finish my blog post on Mormon Cosmology
    • Stretch goal: Write more stuff
  • Finish reading Self and Society in Medieval France
    • Stretch goal: Read The Waning of the Middle Ages
  • Brush up on my Japanese
  • Read Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Heber J. Grant
    • Stretch goal: Read Teachings of Presidents of the Church: George Albert Smith
  • Finish making the text-based adventure I’m working on
    • Stretch goal: Start work on my next game
  • Read all the webcomics on my list of webcomics to read
  • Finish digitizing my filk packets
    • Stretch goal: Write some music (maybe that Christmas children’s rock opera I’ve been thinking about)
  • Finish reading Arabian Nights
    • Stretch goal: Read something else (maybe the Epic of Gilgamesh)
  • Visit another World Heritage Site
    • Stretch goal: Get in a position where I can visit Japan in 2019
  • Finish reading Go Forward with Faith
    • Stretch goal: Read something else (probably Kimball)
  • Get back to having a one-month buffer for my webcomic
    • Stretch goal: Get a two-month buffer
  • Read Women’s Work
    • Stretch goal: Read something else (probably America’s Ancient Forests)
  • Finish watching Fringe
    • Stretch goal: Watch something else (Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.?)
    • Side goal: Get through the second Doctor in my watching of Doctor Who

And there you have it–an ambitious list. Hopefully at least some of these will get done. We’ll see how well it went this time next year.

The High School

I’ve never told this story before. I’m not sure I’ve ever even talked about it. After everything happened, I think Joey and Tristan and I just felt like it was something that shouldn’t be talked about. That maybe by just avoiding the subject we could pretend it never happened. That maybe we could forget. It didn’t work. At least not for me. I don’t know. Maybe Tristan and Joey have forgotten—like I said, we haven’t talked about it. But something is happening, and I feel my story should be recorded, just in case.

The whole thing happened while they were building the new high school. This would have been sometime in the summer of 2000 or 2001, I think—near my 6th grade year. Joey and Tristan and I had been hanging out at my house (I think we were hanging out by then and no longer playing—one gets to an age where one feels sensitive about the terminology of such things). At any rate, we were at my house, no doubt climbing trees, fighting with sticks, and doing whatever else that boys of that age are wont to do. We had dinner at my house—probably pizza from Luigi’s—and Tristan and Joey were spending the night. (Thinking back on it, this seems a little odd—I rarely was one for sleepovers. In fact this may be the only time one happened in that era of my life.)

Sleepovers, of course, are rarely about sleep, and Tristan, Joey, and I talked until late into the night. I don’t remember the thread of the conversation. What I do remember is that it had been dark for quite some time, with everyone in the house asleep save the three of us, when Joey said, “Hey, let’s go check out the new high school.”

I was puzzled. “What are you talking about? The high school isn’t even finished yet.”

Joey looked at me like I was an idiot. “Yeah. That’s why we should go look. Haven’t you ever wanted to explore around an abandoned building before? When the school’s finished, there’ll be all sorts of places we can’t go. But right now, we can go anywhere!”

I have always been sort of afraid of authority. I never liked breaking rules or getting in trouble or in some way not living up to the version of me I felt like I was expected to be. But at the same time, I spent my youth desperate to have people like me, and I was constantly worried that I wasn’t cool enough for Joey, one of the few friends I had. So it was with great relief that I heard, “Uh, I don’t know about this.”

It was Tristan. Sensible, reliable Tristan. My relief was tangible. Tristan would be the voice of reason, Joey would back down, we would go to bed, and no one would get in trouble. I wouldn’t even have to be the uncool one for stopping it from happening. Tristan’s intervention was a gift from God.

Joey shrugged. “Okay.” I relaxed. “I guess I can just go to the high school myself.”

“What?! Wait!” But by that time, Joey was out of the room. “Tristan, we gotta go with him!” My mind was running through scenarios: Joey falling from some scaffolding, hitting his head on the floor, and dying; Joey stepping on a nail, getting tetanus, and having to get his leg amputated; Joey stealing something, getting arrested, and winding up in jail for the rest of his life. In all these scenarios, I could hear my parents asking “Why weren’t you there with him to keep him from doing stupid stuff?” I was in full-blown panic mode.

I think Tristan was probably more clear-headed. Nevertheless, he agreed with my assessment that we should probably not leave Joey to his own devices. So we both followed Joey outside.

If you go to the River Falls High School, you may notice that unless you come either at the beginning or end of the school day, the road it’s on isn’t particularly busy. Not that any place in River Falls could be properly called busy, but Cemetery Road, the location of both my family’s house and the high school, is a little out of the way. Before the high school was built, though, the road was even emptier. I don’t remember if, at the time of this story, there was still a copse of trees across the street, but I’m pretty sure the hockey rink hadn’t been built yet and there was still farmland. And, of course, the cemetery.

The cemetery wasn’t particularly old, with polished new headstones laid out in a neat, orderly manner, and a convenient path to drive one’s car through, should one feel so inclined. The only thing to lend it an air of mystery or melancholy were the pines, reaching to the height of telephone poles and letting through only slivers of light.

There had been talk, when they first considered building a new high school, of changing the name of the street from Cemetery Road to some cheerier appellation. Adults, clearly too far from high school themselves, talked with grave (hah!) concern about the effect the name of the street might have on the psyche of the poor students who would have to study there. But presumably more sensible minds prevailed, because the name never wound up being changed. No one I talked to ever seemed to care. Certainly I didn’t.

And yet, whether this is a true memory or the coloring of my recollection by the events that happened subsequently, I have a distinct impression that as we walked down that thoroughly ordinary, almost empty street, I felt a chill entirely distinct both from the night’s breeze and from the fear of the forbidden. And I was struck, as we walked in silence those few blocks to the high school, that there were eyes that watched and ears that listened and breaths that held themselves in some place just beyond this mortal realm.

The high school was dark and looked empty. It appeared to be nearly finished, to my untrained eye, at least. There were doors, windows, everything. Tristan and I approached to find Joey standing at the front doors. We all stood, just looking at the building in silence for a minute. Then I spoke up. “Okay. Well, we’ve seen it now. Let’s head back.”

Joey looked at me as if to say “Really?”

I sighed. “So do you have any plan for getting in? Because I’m definitely leaving if your plan is to break a window.” I had broken two windows in my life at that point and had no interest in adding a third one to the list.

Joey shrugged. “I’m sure there’s some way in. Maybe someone left a door unlocked.” Joey walked over to the nearest door.

Tristan shook his head. “They’re not going to leave a door unlocked. Look, we should just—”

“Got it!” Joey held the door open.

“I stand corrected,” Tristan laughed in disbelief. “All right, then.” And he walked through the open door. I followed him in, and Joey took up the rear.

I realized when we entered that there was a lot of work left to do. The bones of the building—all the structure—had been built, but there was a fair ways to go before the building would be ready to have students in it.

We had come in through the front entrance, next to where the principal’s office is today. Walking through, we were inevitably drawn to the commons area—a wide open space with high ceilings. Light filtered in through the windows, and the columns supporting the ceiling cast deep shadows across the floor. We looked around a bit. I remember Joey having some fun jumping off the staircases that led to the second floor from the commons area. Then, just as I was thinking that this all wasn’t so bad, and that maybe this wouldn’t end in disaster, we heard a loud crash.

“What was that?!” I asked my companions, heart pounding.

“I think it came from over there.” Tristan gestured to the far end of the commons room where some stairs led down to a lower floor which we had yet to explore.

“Dang it! Do you think someone knows we’re here?” I asked, worriedly. “Maybe we should leave.”

“No way!” Joey said, full of bravado. “We have to go check this out.”

“I’m with Nathan on this one,” Tristan said. “We could get into serious trouble.”

“Come on, you guys! It’ll be fine! Just—” At this point, there was another crash, and I saw a flash of purple light downstairs. Joey noticed it, too. “Now that is something you have to see! Don’t you want to know what that is?”

“Well—” My resolve was slipping.

“If we don’t go look, we’ll never know what it was.” Joey looked back and forth between Tristan and me. Tristan turned to look at me and shrugged.

I sighed. “Okay. We’ll go look really quick, but then we’ve gotta get out of here.”

Joey grinned and nodded. “Let’s go, then.”

We walked down the stairs. “Over there.” Tristan pointed down the hall to a faint, glow, flickering in deep reds and purples. We made our way towards what we discovered to be an open door to what would become the gym, and crouched, looking in through the doorway.

There was a man. I couldn’t make out his features in the dark, but I could tell that his stance was one of confident defiance—the stance of a man who is facing a formidable task, but is secure in his victory. And yet the thing he stood in defiance of—

I find it difficult to describe exactly what the creature was like. I can say that it was tall, though I couldn’t tell you how tall—it seemed to be larger or smaller from moment to moment. Likewise, I can say that it was roughly humanoid, though the number of limbs and their configurations seemed to be in constant flux as well. Indeed, this being—this writhing, shifting mass of shadows cloaked in burgundy flame—seemed to have no fixed features at all. And then it turned its gaze towards me.

It was then that I knew I had been wrong. For the creature did have one fixed aspect: its eyes. I will never forget those eyes as long as I live. They were a hunter’s eyes: hungry, but patient, glowing with a seemingly-inextinguishable golden flame. They held me paralyzed with fear. I tried to draw my own eyes away but found myself incapable of doing so.

The terrifying being slipped around the man, coolly as a cat, and began making its way towards us. And as it approached, its eyes ever held mine. As it drew nearer, its eyes widened, and I saw death.

The death I saw was my own, reflected a thousand times over, in different circumstances and in different personages. As one sometimes in a dream finds that one is playing a character not oneself, I found myself in this being’s eyes playing a myriad of different roles, dying in each. As I found myself trapped in the creature’s monstrous gaze, I knew that role I was currently playing—the 12-year-old with his two friends in the basement of a building they shouldn’t be in—was about to come to an end. With what energy I could muster, I started a silent prayer. And then I saw a bright light, and I passed out.

 

It was still night when I awoke. I was lying on some grass near the high school, and Joey and Tristan were sitting nearby, on opposite sides of me.

“Hey,” said Tristan. Joey nodded.

“Hey,” I said back.

A man walked over to us from a black car parked nearby. Though I hadn’t seen a clear glimpse of him, I knew he was the same man that we had seen in the gym, and I knew that however it had happened, he had saved my life. He crouched in front of us.

“You’ve seen something crazy today. Something no one your age should see. Maybe something no one should see.” He glanced over to the high school and back to us. “You should head home. Try to forget this ever happened. And don’t worry. The seal should hold.” He stood, nodded to us, and walked over to his car. As he drove away, we slowly got to our feet and started walking home.

We walked in silence, each of us wrapped in our own thoughts. I looked over to the troubled faces on my friends and wondered what they had seen, if they had looked death in the face as I had.

 

As I said, we never talked about that day, and maybe that’s as well. Still, Joey and I drifted apart sometime around then, and occasionally I wonder if maybe the events of that day played a part in that. On the other hand, people go their separate ways all the time for no reason so dramatic as an encounter with a man-eating demon, so I don’t worry too much about it.

Each of us did, of course, wind up going to the local high school when the time came. I never was particularly fond of the gym, but that probably had less to do with my unfortunate encounter and more to do with the fact that it was a gym, location of pep rallies and physical education classes. All in all, my high school experience was entirely normal. In time, I thought about the events of that summer less and less, and life went on largely as normal, as it tends to do after big, dramatic events.

Which makes this a fine place to end my story. Or rather, it would, if it weren’t for recent events. For just this June, on the penultimate day of school, I returned to the high school to say hi to various teachers. The building was largely the same. There were, of course a few minor changes, and some teachers I had known had retired and been replaced, but all in all, it was a very familiar experience. When I went to see Mrs. Loney, the choir teacher, she told me the school was being shut down for the summer. Some pipes hadn’t been installed correctly, so now they needed to be replaced.

I wasn’t surprised. All sorts of things were screwed up when the school was first built. That the pipes would be messed up as well came as no surprise. And yet, as I walked around, visiting various teachers, there was a certain strange tension in the air that I found all too familiar. Wherever I walked, I felt a silent, watching presence and some ancient instinct warning me of danger.

When I was done, I exited the high school and stepped out into the bright summer sunlight. As I did so, I felt a weight I didn’t know I carried lift from off my shoulders. And though I could feel the shadows of the school reach out to me, I knew I was safe for the moment. I walked home down the old bike path to my house and saw a black car drive past in the other direction. I didn’t much feel like following.

Outstanding Games: Chrono Trigger

All right everyone, the game I’m talking about today is Chrono Trigger. Now the title of this series is Outstanding Games, so many of the games in this series will be ones which have something odd or peculiar that appeals to me. However, Chrono Trigger does not. Chrono Trigger stands out by being an ideal version of a traditional JRPG (Japanese Role-Playing Game). Chrono Trigger was made by Squaresoft, the same people who made the Final Fantasy games, a fine series in its own right. That said, if I wanted to direct someone towards a game that exemplified how to do a JRPG right while at the same time falling completely within the genre, I would point them to Chrono Trigger.

As you may guess from the title, time is a major theme in Chrono Trigger. The game starts with a young, spiky-haired fellow by the name of Crono going to the Millennial Fair in town. He meets an exciting young lady there by the name of Marle, and the two of them go to see the display of Crono’s other friend, the inventor girl Lucca, who has developed a pair of platforms that allow teleportation between them. But when Marle volunteers to be teleported, something goes terribly wrong, and she disappears. Lucca investigates the problem and discovers that Marle has been sent back in time. So Lucca develops a device that will allow her to recreate the time travel event, and she and Crono set off into the past to save Marle.

The rest of the game takes place between different time periods, from a caveman era with a sentient species of dinosaurs in competition with humans to a post-apocalyptic future where humans live in domes and are running out of resources. As Crono and his party hop back and forth through time, they embark on a quest to save the world from the destruction of a powerful being called Lavos, who caused large-scale destruction in the future, making the world largely incapable of supporting human life.

One of the things that makes Chrono Trigger so memorable is the cast of characters. Beside Crono, Lucca, and Marle, there are also a robot (cleverly called Robo), an anthropomorphic frog knight (cleverly called Frog), and a fierce cavewoman (who actually has the real name of Ayla). You also encounter the fearsome, scythe-wielding wizard Magus (as well as his three less-competent underlings Flea, Slash, and Ozzie), the power-hungry Queen Zeal, and many other equally memorable characters.

Another area in which Chrono Trigger excels is in visual presentation. Chrono Trigger was originally for Super Nintendo (and for my money, that’s what it should be played on, but then I’m essentially a grumpy old man at heart) so its appearance obviously has to deal with the graphical limitations of that system. That said, however, the graphical style is clean and colorful and has aged remarkably well. While many Super Nintendo games look clearly dated, Chrono Trigger still looks beautiful if stylized.

And then there’s the music. Chrono Trigger‘s score is catchy and memorable and perfect. Once again, the Super Nintendo places limitations on quality and complexity of the sound that can be created, but Chrono Trigger works with those limitations to create a score full of memorable and evocative.

And that’s it. If I haven’t sold you on Chrono Trigger yet, I’m not sure what I would say to do so. It’s a great game. There was a period in my life when it was my favorite. I no longer feel that way, but Chrono Trigger remains among the games which stand out to me.

Webcomic Recommendations: 8-Bit Theater

Hi guys,

I’ve decided to start doing recommendations of some of the webcomics which I like. It’ll be like a review except only with ones that I’ve actually read all of and enjoyed. So without further ado, let’s meet our first comic.

8-Bit Theater

Author: Brian Clevinger

URL: http://www.nuklearpower.com/8-bit-theater/

Status: Finished

Type: Humor/Fantasy

Art: Sprite

8-Bit Theater is a pretty well-known comic. If you’ve been around in the world of webcomics for very long, you’ve probably encountered it. For its art, it uses video game sprites, primarily from the original Final Fantasy. Its plot also follows that of Final Fantasy: four warriors of light have been called upon to save the world from Chaos (a dark god, not the concept). Unfortunately for everyone involved, the party that gets the official designation from the king of Corneria as the light warriors is somewhat less than heroic in nature. Thief lives up to his name by stealing everything in sight, Red Mage is narcissistic and pathological in his obsession with glory, and Black Mage likes killing and wanton destruction. Of the four-person party, the only one that actually qualifies as good is Fighter, and unfortunately he’s dumber than a bag of rocks. And these are the people who are supposed to save the world.

The comic has a general overarching story (what with all the world saving that’s supposed to be going on), but really the story is little more than a vehicle for humor. The light warriors travel from place to place with for reasons that are tenuous and contrived, but that never gets in the way of one’s enjoyment of the comic. Indeed, part of the fun comes from seeing the party pushed about by the winds of fate and by their own idiocy.

And idiocy is a major theme of the comic. While fighter is openly acknowledged to be deeply mentally deficient, he is not actually prominently outclassed by the other heroes, each of whom lets his neuroses get in the way of his better judgment. What results is a marvelous schadenfreudic (schadenfreudische?) comedy where our heroes’ flaws and constant infighting lead to disaster after disaster that they somehow, through no fault of their own, wind up victorious over.

My one caveat is this: in order to fully appreciate this comic, you need to enjoy either video games or tabletop RPGs. There’s a lot of humor that you really need that background to understand. An ideal reader would be educated in both areas, but I suspect that only one of them is actually a necessity.

So that’s my recommendation: 8-Bit Theater. Enjoy!

On the Importance of Lists: Part One

As those who know me well may recognize, I am somewhat obsessive in my organizational habits. This may seem strange to others who know me, have seen my room, and have come to the conclusion that there is nothing of order at all in that chaos. Nevertheless, in some aspects of my life, at least, I am organized.

My primary organizational tool is the list. I love lists. When I was at college, I would list my assignments in the order that they were due and schedule my work accordingly (there’s an added layer of complexity with long-term assignments that required some extra rules). I also have a mental list of the full names of many acquaintances (53 of them). By far my greatest list, however, is what I refer to as my free time cycle.

The idea of my free time cycle is this: the list consists of various chronic projects of mine which I cycle through as I get free time. I started the list in college. You see, I was having some difficulties. I would frequently postpone doing homework by engaging in various time-wasting activities, such as reading mediocre webcomics or watching music videos on YouTube. The problem with this pattern was that I would postpone my homework until the last minute and I wouldn’t even have  been doing things that I particularly liked to do. So I decided that I would make this list and that when I got home I would do a homework assignment, and then, after I was done, I would spend an hour on the next thing on the free time cycle before going back to my homework to repeat the process. It worked well, and I have kept the free time cycle ever since, albeit with some changes as my projects have grown.

Now I’m sure that at this point, some of you are saying “When is he going to show us this list?” To which I say, “Now.” So without further ado, here is my list. Following the list, I will have an explanation of the various points.

Video games

Scriptures

Bestiary

Read

Write

Research

Languages

Church books

Video game making

Webcomics

Music

Classics

Exercise

Biographies

Webcomic Creation

Supplemental Books

Art

Watch

So there you go. An extensive list. Let’s start at the top, shall we? My first entry is “Video games.” This is fairly self-explanatory. However, let me add that I have lists of video games as well. My first list is my “Games of Interest” list. That contains games that I encounter and find worth further consideration. If a game successfully makes it to the next stage, it either goes into my “Games to Get” list or my “Games Wish List.” The difference between these is that the “Games Wish List” is full of games for consoles which I do not yet own, while my “Games to Get” list has games that I could play immediately upon acquisition. Finally, I have my “Games I Own” list, which exists as a way for me to keep track of the games that I have that I need to play. As a side note, let me point out that for the most part, I play my games in alphabetical order. I’m currently playing “Batman: Arkham Asylum.” It’ll be a long time before I get to Xenogears. Now, just for fun, I think I’ll include a sample from my “Games to Get”.

The Last Guardian

Steambot Chronicles

Pandora’s Tower

Xenoblade Chronicles

Race the Sun

Knock-Knock

Windforge

The Adventures of Cookie & Cream

Anachronox

PaRappa the Rapper

Astebreed

Swarm

Spacebase DF-9

Strength of the Sword 3

Duck Game

Among the Sleep

Elemental Gimmick Gear

GoNNER

Moving on, we get to “Scriptures.” I’m pretty unashamedly a Mormon, and one of the things that we’re supposed to do is read regularly from our holy works: the Bible, the Book of Mormon, the Doctrine and Covenants, and the Pearl of Great Price. My current project regarding these is going through the Book of Mormon and listing themes. It’s the sort of thing that might be cool if you’re Mormon and probably isn’t if you aren’t.

Next we have “Bestiary.” The deal here is that I have a bestiary of mythical creatures that I am compiling for use in one of my fictional universes. I’ve been working on this for a long time, and unfortunately I recently had a setback in the sense that I decided that I was going to find primary sources for as many of the creatures I could and do a good job documenting these sources. What this means is that currently I’m working on a translation of an edition of a Japanese book called Gazu Hyakki Yagyō, a book of illustrations of yōkai (Japanese monsters and spirits) from the eighteenth century. If you guys want, at some point I can either include some stuff from that book or other things I’ve encountered in my bestiary creation. Until then, here’s a list of a few of the beings in my bestiary pre-correction.

Aatxe- A Basque spirit that changes form between a human and a large, fierce red bull

Boobrie- A shapeshifting Scottish monster that often appears in the form of a giant diving bird

Sea Dog- An aquatic dog with scales and webbed feet

Sea Hog- A beast with the tail of a fish, legs of a dragon, and body and head of a boar

Monk Fish- A fish that looks sort of like a monk

Stollenwurm- A beast with the body of a lizard, head of a cat, and a long, ridged tail

Following the bestiary, we have “Read.” Really what this refers to is fictional reading for enjoyment. If we’re being totally honest, it refers to science fiction, fantasy, and the occasional mystery. I’m currently reading Hothouse by Brian Aldiss.

Next, we have “Write.” This is exactly what it seems like. In fact, I am writing this blog post as a result of my current position on the list. I’ve tried writing novels and such, but it’s not really working out right now because so much of my mental energy is going towards my comic. So instead of working on long fiction, we get my blog posts and the occasional bit of short fiction.

We are now at “Research,” which is where I read for the purpose of learning things for my story creation. I am currently reading a lovely book by Ian Mortimer called The Time Traveler’s Guide to Medieval England.

And we come around to “Languages.” This entry is where I work on either learning new languages or working on languages I already sort of know. The only languages that qualify so far are Japanese, German, and Welsh, though I hope to add some more. Currently, of course, my translation of Gazu Hyakki Yagyō is doing double duty as both bestiary work and language work. I think the next language I actively try to learn will be either Irish or Greenlandic.

Next up is “Church books.” This is another reading one and should possibly be called “Religious books” instead. This entry is devoted to the reading of religious books. Whether these include holy books of religions other than my own or whether those go under the later category of “Classics” I am unsure of at the moment. Currently, I’m reading through a set of books released by my church that are about the teachings of various past leaders of the church. I’m currently at Joseph F. Smith, so I’m about a third of the way done.

Now we get to an exciting one: “Video game making.” Did you know I want to make video games? Of course you did. Everyone wants to make video games. What I’m currently doing is working on an outline for a JRPG I want to make. If it ever goes anywhere, maybe I’ll talk more about it.

And at this point, I think I’ll take a breather. We’re halfway through the list, so now is a fine time for an intermission. Part two may come later when I come back around to writing.

To My Dear Wife

You wouldn’t have wanted me to do this, I’m sure. You were always so optimistic. Even in those final days, you still tried to get me to smile, to laugh. And I did. But who is there to get me to smile now?

So today… Today I will do something. If there is a god in heaven—and how can there be otherwise since He sent you to me—I must trust that He is merciful. I must trust that He knows my weaknesses, and that He will forgive me.

So here I am on our back porch, shotgun on my knee. I’m switching the safety off.

I remember you as I first met you, with golden hair, sparkling green eyes, and the most radiant smile I had ever seen. I never dared dream that I would be waking to that smile for the next fifty years, but even at first meeting, I knew those eyes would never leave me.

Ah, those eyes. I remember when we went to Ireland for your friend’s wedding. I had heard it called the Emerald Isle, but all the green of Ireland couldn’t compare to your breathtaking eyes.

And that hair—spun gold like straw fresh off Rumpelstiltskin’s spinning wheel. It didn’t last much longer than my own unruly mop, but even when your gold turned to silver, you were still as beautiful and radiant as the sun.

I remember that radiance when I sit at a table suddenly much too large, sleep in a bed much too cold, live in a house much too empty. How can I help but remember, when every corner of every room is filled to overflowing with you? We built this home together—brick by brick, memory by memory. How can I stay in it alone?

I almost never cook now. I used to love cooking, but then, I always had someone to cook for. Somehow it rarely seems like it’s worth the effort anymore.

I know what you would say. You would tell me to get up and do something. You would tell me to go for a walk or paint or fish or garden. You would tell me to try a new restaurant or read a book or go see the fall leaves.

But I’ve tried all those things, and I remain empty inside. No, not just empty, but incomplete. All these years I’ve been part of a “we.” A beautiful, wonderful “we.” And I can’t go back to being an “I.”

So I raise my gun.

 

And lower it again. Put the safety back on. Set down the gun. My hands are trembling.

I rub the wooden armrest of the porch swing, worn by the years, and looking at the empty seat next to me, I can almost see you there, reading. I look out at the yard, covered with leaves ready for the raking, and can almost hear your feet crunching the leaves underfoot. I feel a sharp gust of wind and can almost smell the scent of your apple pie, tantalizingly close to being cool enough to eat carried on the breeze.

And I know I can’t do it. I can’t leave all this behind.

There are tears running down my cheeks and I don’t know why. I desperately want to see you again, but not right now, not this way.

I hope my time comes soon. I miss you terribly. But for now, it’s starting to get dark, and it’s about time I start cooking dinner.